Speechless..

"Importance is not demonstrated in the quantity or quality of words shared but instead the least words shared."
-Robin Tey

I'm still in awe over the possibility of the present occurrences taking in place in my life..
By all rights, at this point it should be all but impossible..
With the steps I took..
The paths I walked..
The thoughts I conceived..
And the actions I executed..
I should never of been in this situation..
It doesn't make sense that I could possibly be..
When I put all my effort into avoiding it..
I'm not questioning or denying it..
Just..
Incapable of understanding how.
I won't push it away..
Simply because I just can't..
I just know I want it to continue on a more positive path from here..
For me..
For us..
Selfishly as it is..
Human as it is..
I just can't help it..

It is here that I partake in acts I never would..
Saying things I never would..
Seeing things I never would..
Accepting and just simply executing actions I never would..
Spending my time here, is all I want despite the risks involved..
Maintaining this routine of mine despite the toll that it takes on me..

I really believed that there wouldn't be opportunity for me to be nervous..
For me to have to consider so many options in such a limited time duration..
For me to show dedication to this specific area once again in my life..
For me to be..
Speechless.

I don't know if this is positive or negative at this point..
Or if it is even possible..
I just know that this is one opportunity that I can't let slip.
I have never allowed myself to believe that fate was a true word..
But that day.. During those three days..
Something quite difficult to happen did.
And, it just seems to me..
Perhaps fate was telling me to take this new presented opportunity..
Despite the difficulty it seems to entail I can't help but believe it is worth the effort..
I just don't want to be speechless..
'Maybe if I could avoid singing with my nose?..'
But I guess no one would really understand that.

I am speechless at heart..