Depletion..

Today seemed like a day much like yesterday..
Although the prospect of this isn't a problem within my mind..
Meeting individual or individuals that play a strong part on my life now..
Where I desire their company which is still too 'new' to me to comprehend..
However in truth..
It is the complications that follow and the toll that it takes on me..
I've fallen into a routine that should of been avoided at all costs..
Where my body no longer receives a moment's true break..
My eyes fall on paper and screen at all times..
My hands grip pencil or pen at all times..
My sleep is drained of all it's glory and reduced to minimal hours..
Beyond that of before..
Bringing about the worsening of an already bad habit..
My mornings come early and quick..
And much like the passing of time during present time..
My energy reserves quickly deplete..

Unfortunately this reality showed itself during what could be considered the worse of moments..
Considering past promises that were made to individuals that are no longer in my life..
This was a promise made to an individual that made a clear impact on my life..
And, with this promise as the remaining present memory I hold..
It is one I must uphold..
One that states that I shall never forsake the existence of my life.
However, as I drove home today..
Uncontrolled and unintentional sleep quickly followed..
Resulting in the holding of traffic..
The swaying of driving..
And many abrupt brakes to avoid collision..
In many ways this could be considered a sign to attempt my conquest to beat insomnia..
Or perhaps, this is just life telling me this is all I have.
The only thing I understand is that I just don't have what it takes anymore..
And I despise it completely..

I am depleted at heart..