Near..

Today becomes the final day of the month..
Spelling out the closeness of the lapping of an entire year..
An entire year from that day..
The day I stopped crying..
The day I stopped my emotions..
The day I felt betrayed forever..
The day everything changed for me.
I only hope I can last that long even still..
Time is the only factor here..
The time is near..

My guess though?..
Once the day comes..
Nothing will change for me..
I believe it's much too late..
With the possibility of only outside influence being the only remedy..
The me I am reverting to can only do so much..
I suppose I already gauged I wouldn't make my twenty year old year count..
Nor would I remain a changed man for long..
Perhaps I know a few more faces and a few more know me..
But without energy I can do so much.
I just hope something can change for the better..
But I suppose sleep draws nearer..
4am.. Yet again.

15 days..