Feelings..

I am more than aware of where I stand in this world..
Within the realms of darkness and light..
I know my standing.. I know position..
And I have never argued with it..
Not for a long time now..
But, to think that feelings the one thing I disregarded and discarded..
These feelings that are starting to surface now are standing in my way..
The one thing I learned so hard to eradicate and ignore like they never existed..
I can feel again.. Just that bit more than I could yesterday..
And, the day before that..
I don't understand how this is possible..
Perhaps I can connect the pieces..
But even I never believed that it would be enough..
To think that.. I could feel again.. Not just for individuals in my life..
But to feel towards life happenings..
To consider things in relations to myself the way I am now..
I don't understand why I am feeling like this again..
I haven't for so long..
For.. 338 days..
Despite only having 27 days remaining..