New Living..

Home.. Somewhere I just refuse to be right now..
It just seems so unreal being back after something like that..
I remember it so clearly even now..
Every second of it..
Every minute of it..
Every hour of it..
I just want to hold onto it..
And all I could wish for right now is to go back..
It couldn't of gone better..
I was everything I wanted to be..
Did everything I wanted to do..
And, I was even stupid just for that moment.
The 'new' feeling, it's still here staying right by my side and I don't even know how..
The people there.. I just don't feel the same without being around them..
Talking to them.. Having fun with them..
It just doesn't feel right that time has gone on..
And, if anything.. My prediction was one hundred percent correct..
This road trip probably did mean more to me than anyone else..
Everyone misses it..
But, probably never as much as I will..
For the first time ever I got to be someone different..
Carefree..
Nothing but fun on the mind..
Forgetting all my worries and actually being happy for once..
Smiling.. Cause I wanted to..
Laughing.. Cause I wanted to..

I drove at 160km/h..
I drove someone elses' car..
I climbed up the mountain..
I woke up at 7.30am after sleeping at 4am to jog and run around for 3 hours..
I organized the road trip..
I drank energy drinks..
I drank alcohol..
I followed my feelings of the moment..
I met a wild seal for the first time..
I tried to swim with it..
I was drunk/tipsy for the first time ever..
I cuddled with someone cause they said they were cold.. And, I only just met them..
I experienced the fun sugar high like I did as a kid.. Non-stop abs hurting laughter..
I laughed like I meant it..
I smiled like I meant it..
I tackled someone down into the water for fun..
I spent all night talking to someone by the barbeque..
I drank shots of 40% if anything.. Willingly playing a drinking game..
I took 8.07 gigs of videos and photos..
I drove on a road trip over a long distance..
I jumped across rocks bare foot like the world didn't matter..
I shouted around like no one was around..
I missed a work deadline (which I'm not proud of)..
I randomly brushed my teeth in a room with someone I just met..
I Fixed a broken toilet (sigh..)..
I Woke up at 7.30am to clean a house..
I Drove somewhere where I had no clue at all where I was..
I Walked into an adult shop..
I Went grocery shopping with one other person for everyone..
I Bought $40 alcohol..
I Slept top bunk..
I Sang and rapped like I meant it..
I Joined in the photos happily like I was supposed to be there..
I Played pranks on people with friends..
I Took a video of those pranks..
I Did things without hesitation just cause someone said to 'just once'..
I Paid for everything like I had infinite money..
I Drove around on a whim trying to find places..
I Visited an op shop for the first time..
I Pat a random cat that I didn't even know..
I Coma'd out with someone else after drinking..
I Crawedl up the stairs drunk..
I The stumbled down the stairs drunk..
I ate candy for breakfast.. Lunch.. And dinner.. Along with the actual food..
I Collapsed in front of the toilet door after drinking..
I Got kicked in the head and hand got stepped on after collapsing in front of the toilet..
I did many other things we also said to to keep at Tauranga only and amongst us..
(What happens in Tauranga stays in Tauranga)
I Visited somewhere that I have never been before...
I lived..

I just can't forget this trip no matter how hard I try and all I want to do is go back..
Go back to being someone I never was..
Go back to having fun in a place I have never been..
Do things that I have never done..
Be with people that I have never been with..
Just being comfortable with who I was..
Where I was..
With who I was with..
Just living.
Like I have always dreamed of..
Living.

To everyone on the Tauranga Road Trip 2011.. Mt. Maunganui... Thank you =]
For the first smile this blog has ever seen from me..
You will never know how much this has meant to me..
Because from today onward.. I will 'forever' be different.

Being able to say 'forever'..
Running on these 'new' feelings..
Knowing these 'new' people..
And even thinking of trusting these 'new' people..
I can't be the same person I was three days ago.
I won't.
I will keep my dream and who I am today.