Misplacement..

Under pressure and within presence..
I understand that I am considered to be an individual skilled in the art of literature..
However it seems I fall short within certain presences..
I possess the knowledge at hand..
However, it would seem I lack the knowledge to present the knowledge I possess..
I find myself trapped with this situation that is always there..
I tell myself every morning within this presence I will be different..
I will stand out..
I will be desired..
I will be everything.
And yet, I never execute and such action or maintain any such thought..
Only until after day's end does it occur to me this was meant to be my attempt..
But I fail under pressure and presence..
Clearly.

If I could be who I used to be around certain presences..
Then perhaps it would make things easier..
Unfortunately for me this is something I lost long ago..
It used to be so much easier..
But then again it always is..
Life is only meant to get harder as you progress..
I just never imagined I would still have nothing..
No true friend..
No true best friend..
Not true talent..
No true profession..
No true aspiration..
No true goal..
No true direction..
No true destination..
No true foundation..
Just..
Nothing.
At this point, I just don't know anymore whether or not I misplaced these things..
Or forever lost them..
Is it forever in me..
Or forever scattered and gone through the wind of the world.
I could be everything anyone wanted..
Given time I could be..
Or at least I would like to think so..
But not anymore.