Tired

"The world is a big place filled with too many people to meet. But within the numbers that you do.. Someone there, they will fight for you.. To love and protect you because they choose to. Because, they already know that you were never born into this world to be alone. That.. Is impossible"
-Robin Tey (For you)
"Life equips you with everything you need to live it.. But.. Me?.. I'm equipped with an unsheathed dull blade.."
-Robin Tey (For me)

Tired..
I am.. Tired..
Tired of this arena of death that's become home..
Fighting.. One warrior of an obstacle after another..
Denied even the smallest loss.. For any given second..
A nameless warrior.
I have nothing to show.. I have no one to show to.. I have nothing.. I have no one..
Just.. Me.. Alone..

I've given the world every reason to trust me..
I've given the world every reason to remember me..
I've given the world one hundred percent..
I just want to find someone to trust.. Even if just one person..
I just want someone to remember me.. Just one..
Even if all I can get is one percent of the effort I give.. I'll take it..
For all the want in the world.. If I could get something..
This would all change.. I would change..
The more I give.. The less I get..

I'm slowly forgetting.. The memories that littered my past life..
The small ones.. The big ones.. The important ones..
Slowly.. But surely.. As hard as I try.. They escape me..
I don't remember trust..
I don't remember hurt..
I don't remember friendship..
I don't remember betrayal..
I.. Remember.. Nothing.. But fatigue..

I don't want to smile on the outside..
I don't want to laugh on the outside..
I don't want to cry on the inside..
I don't want to hate people..
If I didn't have to live devoid of self life this.. Just maybe.. I can see the world differently..
I.. Just want someone.. It doesn't matter who.. Just someone willing to see my smile instead.
Just so I don't have to spend every day filling the voids of my life with blood and physical pain..
So.. I don't have to struggle to my absolute limit in all that I do..
If you're out there.. I'm sorry.. Because chances are, I've made it too hard for you to help me..
But, it doesn't mean I don't want your help.. It just means.. I'm hard to get to.

I just want to smile again.. For real..
I just want to laugh again.. For real..
I just want to cry again.. Just one time..
All.. I want is to live.. Someone.. Please.. Just let me live! Even if for one second..
If.. I could just feel my heart again..
I only have my.......

I am tired at heart...