Shadow Chamber

"Sometimes, a secret is only a secret because there isn't anyone to share it with."
-Robin Tey

Every living being is born to selfishness..
In some it's strong.. In others it's weak..
To some it's oblivious.. To some it's obvious..
And, I.. Myself am no exception.
Simply because I was born as I am..
With a mind.. With a soul.. With a heart..
And, as a human.

Having a mind, a soul and a heart entitles us to being human.. Labeling us.. Absolutely.
A mind to conceive the decisions that determine our direction in life..
A soul to control how we execute the very life shaping decisions we make..
And, a heart to understand the consequences of our actions..

Despite all the purity that a heart is capable of it can still exist in two halves..
One harboring the light.. One harboring the dark..
But, neither can exist without the other..
Simply because it is impossible.
To understand what is dark you first have to stand in the light..
To understand what is light you first have to stand in the dark..
To understand happiness, you have experience sadness..
To understand sadness, you have to experience happiness..
The undeniable law of human life.

This.. Truth of human life, written in stone since times' first steps..
Is.. Something I refuse to believe in.
Every human is born to selfishness regardless of reason it will always be there..
Which is why I've chosen to shatter this rule with my own.. My rule of a heart in darkness' light.

My life is far from the Dystopia that many others endure..
Compared, I could even call it perfect..
I've seen, heard and felt the tears and pain of those around me..
And I know now.. That it takes a truly selfless heart to correct this.
My dream of changing the world somehow.. Someway, for the better..
Requires me to transcend the human limitations into selflessness..
Having the heart that can withstand the burden of the world around me on my shoulders alone..
Having the heart that can put even the thing I hate most first..
Having the heart to tear my own heart out for another if I have to.
Without a moment's hesitation.

I've lied many times over..
Giving claim to blissful happiness with a grin too convincing..
Only to put the hearts of others at ease, allowing them to care for themselves first..
I've broken many promises of care..
Claiming to put myself first, so those around me can too..
Only to see them move forward and succeed..
I've lived devoid of self..
Putting emotions away, never letting myself cry..
Only because, someone else around the world needs to cry that much more than me..
I've placed myself last..
Cause, someone needs to..
I've bled, I've sweated, and I've struggled..
But, never have I forgotten this dream of mine to see a better world for those around me..
And, those to come after me one day.

I have listened to an archive of stories of pain and tears becoming the primary outlet..
I have literally been the last one standing during the darkest times of those around me..
I have promoted the recognition of the diseases that plague our world..
I have even dived into the water to help someone in need without hesitation..
And, I will continue to do so for as long as I'm alive.

Even I don't know why I'm saying all this now..
Maybe.. I want someone to just recognize how hard I'm working..
Maybe.. I want someone out there in the world to know that people can care..
Maybe.. I want someone that needs help to come find me..
Maybe, I'm just the naive kid trying to save every tree in the forest..

Despite the impossibility that it's labeled with by most..
It's the same majority sharing the same dream as mine that understand what I can not..
To save a forest from burning, you have to lose some trees in the process..
Sacrifice.

But, isn't every life entitled to life despite how bad a person they may be?
Isn't bad and good only perspective?
Does labeling a guy as bad really strip him or her of all right to live..
I don't think so.
Morally I've always tried to stay correct.. But even that is just a word.

I know we live once.. And maybe that's why people get selfish to attain or they want or can..
Cause they only have a single chance to do so.
And, maybe I should be adopting all my efforts to make something better of myself.
I'm painfully aware that the longer I stay down this path..
Following through with these efforts..
The further into the dark I will fall..
The less people I will trust..
The more I see.. The more I hear.. The more I feel..
The less I will believe in humans altogether.
I've already lost enough to forsake friendship altogether..

For the sake of my dream..
And simply, just cause I don't believe anymore..
I have forsaken myself and true friendship..
Maybe if I didn't do it this way I wouldn't take it so seriously..
But.. Maybe, just maybe.. If someone was reading this..
And that someone came and found me..
Things could change.
But, until then..

I am dark at heart.. For as long as it takes.