Earnest..

This has been a word that has shown great impact on my life recently..
This was the initial word used to express an observation to a certain individual..
A certain individual who is now of great importance to me in my life..
And hopefully I to theirs..
But, acting on the impulses and whims I have lived these five years against..
Ignoring..
I stopped for a moment.
Just a moment..
Despite having questioned myself constantly were it wise to share this secret..
This secret with the chase of the 'new'.
Many times I told myself no..
But many times I told myself otherwise..
And, in my confusion.. I accepted only one choice.
The first of the moment..
The initial.
And so I said..
I said those secrets that gripped me in the shadows tightly everyday.
Despite how many reasons I gave myself to not.
And yet, like those before I show no regret or remorse..
But rather.. Acceptance over my decision..
Over my freedom of choice.
And in return..
I received that word.
Earnest..
Not once was it spoken.
But many times was it seen visible through my eyes..
Seeing the earnest eyes..
Seeing the earnest face..
An expression that said 'I care.'
An expression that showed sadness when appropriate..
An expression that showed happiness when appropriate..
And even, an expression that showed firmness when required.
Today..
I revealed my secret.
For the fifth time..
In a duration of only twelve days..
Running on impulse..
Following whim..
Trusting instinct..
Believing..
Looking for the earnest in people.