Cognizant Promise - Week 3

"Gifted with the ability of sight we become capable of seeing the colors of the world, sometimes forgetting that Black and White aren't colors."
-Robin Tey

For a long time now, I have seen the world in allow two shades..
Black and white..
Many have told me..
And, even I have personally told myself..
But not once..
Have I allowed myself to ever see the truth of this..
Even when spoken as words to me by individuals once close to me..
Perhaps..
It was this blind fault that separated me from them in the first place..
All I know now is that..
This color..
Is something I must learn to recognize and see..
Much like the first steps of a baby..
I must see through my eyes for the first time.
To appreciate what I see in a greater light..

I am grateful that..

I managed to begin the week with a trip up to Maraetai with two of the best individuals I could of asked for which wasn't the amazing chocolate coated ice cream in the hot weather.
For purposes of photo taking we eventually made our way up to Duder Regional Park and some fun with sticks, rocks, logs and regrettably.. Sand.
But there were too many laughs not to remember the day with physical photos in the numbers to take this day with me for the rest of my days with photography of a standard I would deem perfect.

I officially had probably the best and most energetic karaoke session anyone could ask for losing my voice in the process..
Screaming.. Shuffling.. Dancing?.. Oh.. And some singing.. In amongst the chaos.
So another quick and amazing start to the week already after having watched on the same day a funnily ironic movie called 'When Harry met Sally' or something like that.. A 1989 film I think it was?.. But otherwise.. A fun packed day with lots of people and ending in a Korean dinner.

I had another photo filled day with the same trio with a side of handstands, KFC, and of course.. Unbearable heat. However, hiding out and eating under shade and behind a literal NZ mansion I had no idea existed as we looked 'down' onto Eastern Beach from the most amazing view ever.
We eventually ended the fun out at that very beach, Eastern Beach at the end of the day with some chips.. Some drinks.. And music.

I got to really re-connect with one of my sisters from the past through a late night conversation of non-stop ramblings from both ends that really clarified things and just made us think yet again..
While I got to meet her on this very same day after talking to who knows what time..
Another Monopoly moment with me coming up on top quite easily.. I can only thank my luck for that which seems to work only in games.. But, despite the day ending sadly the way it did.. It was good to see my other little sister.. Even if only for a while with her dog..
It was really something I needed and wanted personally and I'm glad it was possible even if only for those short minutes of my personal undesired silence..

I had officially one of the slowest starts I have ever had in a long time refusing to do much at all.. Until my own personal motivation kicked in once more leading me to do a literal 3 hour workout from home.. To outside with the skipping rope which I can actually do now having learned recently.. (Shame on my part..), Punching Bag, Running and out to the playground and field and Wakaaranga.. Tired but accomplished I ended the day with another long conversation with another of my best friends.

I got to have a Chinese New Year's Eve's Eve.. What can I say?.. Didn't get any money.. But got to spend some time with the family friends laughing like crazy over the stupid things..
I'm just glad I got to laugh as much as I did on this day.

I got the best family a guy could ask for.. Inner and outer..
A grandma quick as quick can be and just as caring as she is fast..
Cousins who really make the day count and the times roll..
Siblings all round that is just plain self explanatory..
While parents are hardworking and perfect for my sake..
Really.. Today just made me realize how lucky I am to have the family I do..

That is all.

Although this is my attempt at simplicity..
The difficulties of this week have proven to be too heavy to eradicate the complexities that fill my mind..
So.. Without a doubt this was unnatural to me further more..
If anything this has become a simple diary or journal..
Or maybe it's just what I need?..

Cognizant Promise - Week 2

In a personal attempt of self growth I will endeavor to maintain a promise to a friend true..
A shared promise that will benefit us in equivalence..
Complexity grants difficulty..
Difficulty grants displeasure..
Displeasure grants negativity..
Negativity.. Is undesired..
This is my personal attempt of simplicity.

I am grateful that..

I was able to see in person and catch on video a rare sight..
A pet bee on a string flying around..
Although it required us to freeze it first and tie a string on it..
It was quite possible..
Although I don't know what happened to it after..
One of the simple things..

I got to beat my Little Sister in Monopoly by doubling her money..
Making her give up..
But, just to save face I think I'll keep her name hidden.
Just cause I'm nice like that.
30 million.. Just sayin'

I am keeping up an amazing routine of pure exercise..
Piano playing..
Drawing..
And socializing every now and then..
But keep as productive as possible..

I had an amazing day at mission bay meeting a whole set of new people..
Despite the slight change in weather from original plans..
It only managed to rain after I left..
And, I got to thank a person in person for her efforts..
That I am eternally grateful for which is why I am who I am today..
And where I am right now..
So thank you..
If you get chance to read this..
I also saw many old friends afterwards thinking it would be awkward..
But it worked out better than planned which is more than I could of asked for..

I met up with an even older friend..
We have been amazingly close in the past when I was willing to open up to her..
But, only for the little things that mattered..
Unfortunately with her being in Victoria University it made it quite difficult..
But, I am happy for her successes and just having a good day out with..
Although not enough words were shared like they were in the past..
When we talked for 5-7 hours in Mcdonalds like it was nothing..
About our novels and stories that we were making..
It was just a good day out..

I Went to Night Market, second time now but with good people as well..
Two best friends..
And, they know they're foods well..
So, despite losing out on my diet after so much dedication..
Was worth it for just that one day..
However, I think that brought back my normal appetite which might be a problem..
In the future..
But, I had fun..
Churos are definitely a must!

Spent one more day with my other Little Sister..
Before she heads out to Australia for two weeks..
I had fun though.. Many laughs were shared and made new friends again..
We played pool..
Ate Korean..
And, just talked in general..
What more could I ask from socializing?..

And, if anything that is as best as my memory lets me recall..
While, I can admit to finding this simplicity method of blogging too difficult..
And uncomfortable.. I will do my best..
Here's to my friends..
And having people who can put a smile to my face..
Thank you.

"Your Turn, Don't Forget! You know who you are! =]"
(Not a quote.. I'm actually just saying for real)

Cognizant Promise - Week 1

I am grateful that...

I have learned to dream again..
I have found my motivation to live again..
I have friends that I truly believe in and trust..
I have a set goal and direction to follow and aim for..
I can truly say without hesitation that I am cared for in this world..
I am now able to say believe, trust, hope, forever, need, want and love..
I can see myself being happy.

Dream

"Those who have no power to dream, have no power to live."
-E. Toiler.
"Hope is the dream of a man awake"
-Aristotle.

"Where's your motivation?"
"If you stop and take a look around you, there's a lot to love about the world. I don't want you to spend your time hating something when it can be resolved. Stop hating the world and start loving yourself instead."
-A Friend.

"A life is finite but, a dream is infinite."
-Robin Tey

Dreaming a life.. Living a dream..

My life balances on a reservedly inexhaustible archive of extant copies of imitations..
I have lived everyday shadowing a single pseudo pragmatical pursuit..
I have yielded the entirety of sacrifice superseding success..
I have seen the fruits of my labor in surrounding..
And, I have never once embraced in beat..

I dreamed a life not mine..
I lived a dream not mine..
I lost my dreams to yesterday..
Stolen life past..
I live a dream not mine today..
Stealing dream present..
But..
I will live a dream mine tomorrow..
Chasing dream future..

Contracted not by paper..
Contracted not by will..
Nor, contracted by fate..
But, instead contracted by uncertainty..

I have not yet sung on my stage..
I have not yet danced on my stage..
And, I have not yet dreamed my stage..

My desires match my dreams..
My dreams match the streetlights of eternity..

I know not of what dream to chase..
I know not of what dream is possible..
I only know that I can.
And, until I find that dream..
I will never allow myself to give up.
I will look up to the sky of humanity..
So one day the sky of humanity can look up to me..
I will learn to fight for myself..

Despite 'Shadow Legacy..'
Despite 'Void Scale..'
Despite 'Hollow Blitzkrieg..'
Despite 'Summer Snowflake..'
Despite 'Blood Bottle..'
If nothing else I have my dreams..

I now stand at the gates of eternity..
With open doors to the infinite possibilities..
My chase.. My desire.. My wish.. My heart..
Will have to wait until I dream a dream powerful..
Until I dream a dream of hope..
Until I dream a dream of motivation..
Until I dream a dream of infinity..
Wait for me..
One day you will see me..
Colored by desires' dream..

Today.. I am ready..
To find self old..
To bring self old..
To resurrect self new..
I will return to the way I was today.

My life..
My Dream..
My Instant Karma..

I am a dreamer at heart.